My Thoughts About Food

I know I will probably step on some toes and offend some people with this post. However, this is my blog and these are thoughts that have been going through my head for the past couple weeks as I've read posts on Facebook and Vertical Sleeve Talk and other places. I feel I've been biting my tongue long enough and need to share my feelings. I know we are all different and I am far from perfect and I am not judging others for what they choose to do, but want to share my thoughts and feelings about food after surgery and that may be able to be applied to those who are trying to get healthy without surgery too. 


I will admit that I have a food addiction - or I guess I could say I'm a recovering food addict. In the past, I let food control my life. I am finally understanding that I control my life and my choices. Food does not control me anymore. A lot of people say how hard the mental aspect is and how the surgery does not change the bad habits. I honestly cannot pinpoint why my whole attitude has changed concerning food now. I still feel like this was an instant addiction cure for me. My husband thinks it is because we are paying for the surgery on our own instead of those who have insurance pay the whole thing. I do think the self-pay thing has a little bit to do with it, but I know it's not the only factor because I know others who have had insurance pay for surgery who are very dedicated also. I'm sure there are a lot of factors going into how I feel, but I haven't been able to identify them. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm SO ready to change my life - although please don't think I'm saying that others aren't ready to change. 


Anyway, I have read so many things about people eating junk - chips, pizza, alcohol, cake, cookies, breads, pastas, crackers, soda, etc - and I started thinking about my relationship with food more. I know that every surgeon is different as far as guidelines after surgery. On my paperwork, my surgeon says "no caffeine" and "no carbonated beverages" for lifetime after surgery. There are other doctors who say otherwise. However, since my surgeon has these guidelines I am going to follow them. The guidelines don't say "no soda unless flat"!!!! Most doctors, no matter what their guidelines are, do not give "do not" lists with exceptions added to them! I understand that with my smaller stomach, I can't eat anywhere near the amount of junk I could in the past. However, just because I could possibly have 5 chips instead of a whole huge bag of chips does not mean that I should even have those 5!!! Right now most not-so-good choices aren't even appealing to me & look rather disgusting, but it might not always stay that way (although I hope it does). 


It is true that after progressing through the stages back to regular food, most doctors say that we can eat anything in moderation. For me though, I didn't pay $15,000 and have major surgery to go back to eating junk! I'm not saying I'm never going to have any kind of junk ever again in my life, but I am devoted to changing my life once and for all. My personal goal is to obey all the "do nots" that my surgeon has and to make my own healthy alternatives to other things that I'd like to have. I did not go through this to continue to make not-so-good choices. I did this to make life-long good choices. 


Again, I don't know what the difference is. I don't know why I never thought this way when I did Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem or other programs or when I just tried diet and exercise in the past. If I had, I wouldn't have needed to have surgery. I don't even know how much money I spent on all those programs and things over the years! Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to make this new mindset stick for people who are doing other programs, but I do think that the same theory of "just because you CAN have it, doesn't mean you SHOULD have it" can be applied to anyone trying to get healthy no matter what system you're using to achieve your goals. 


I know some people think that thinking "I can't ever have chips ever again" is a limiting thought and makes them want the chips even more. However, I look at it more as "what can I find that fuels my body more than chips and achieves my healthy goal?" I think it boils down to the fact that I am finally learning to eat to fuel my body instead of letting food pull me in and control me. I am the one in control now and if feels absolutely AMAZING!!!